hmm... was telling karthik that day that, if wanna be a nice guy, be one throughout.. if not, be a devil throughout... haha... there's my reason...

if you've been nice all along, accepting ppl's comment n stuff... bearing all the misery n stuff... ppl kinda tot you can accept it not realising that actually u mind... so when u blow up, ppl would see it and change view about you... they'd tend to think that you're unreasonable or "hey, he is juz the same"

on the other hand, if you are a bad guy all along, ppl would know wad to do... when u do sth nice, they see n appreciate it.. they would change their view on you thinkin "hey, he can be so sweet as well"

thus, i come to a conclusion, if initially, you dun ask for a lot, continue to be the way you are..

sometimes was thinking.. whether ppl appreciate gd ppl... hmm... maybe shouldn't ask for much...

if fact, if possible, juz be contented with wad u hav.. for request can be really costly.. at least, it's true for me... had so much experiences... is like repeating movie frame. each time hoping that i'd be proven wrong, yet each time, at least in my memory, it's a repetition of the others...

if not... so happen that i'd have enough, i'm proven wrong... end up, my anger is unreasonable. it's juz so hard to even get angry... bcos i'd tot that ppl would be so hurt... in the end, perhaps i'm e only one suffering..

but... at least, that's e best situation.. cos at least they are happy n wun come against me which is so hurting... hmm... MY LIFE.. i am like LIVING FOR OTHERS hoping that there will be OTHERS LIVING FOR ME, putting me above everyth, giving in to me (when, i dun ask a lot too, no need to give in all the time), at least, when both needs attn, he'd give it to me... hmm... maybe, to have me above him n all other things...

hmm... but... even if dun have, so be it, i'm contentes alrdy though... jus that if can, then y not? rite?