As usual, things I did were wrong to her..

We went on a trip together. I think Capricorns are lousy travel companions. They are self-centred and wet blankets. I tried to prove it wrong.. but I was wrong.

So, yes, we went on a trip to Sydney and Brisbane.

Not sure when it started.. but I suddenly became a bane in her eyes. I am pretty organised when come to schedule. Like to make sure that things are done in efficient way. I may be not as meticulous when it comes to attention giving, but not to the extend that I am totally ignorant to others' feelings. So, I am not sure how I ended up to be given this kind of treatment.

I assume she was jealous. That I am hanging around too little with her and too much with htb and hx. I thought everyone will be accepting. Now, when I asked for opinion and you have none, I will soon decide the best plan for you. By walking faster is to check out the routes so that you need not walk all the unnecessary errors. What was wrong with that? AND she blamed us for not asking her, for not stopping for rest, for not having toilet breaks. WITHOUT knowing that we were not the worms in her tummy and we will not know. If she did not tell us, how would we know, right? If we asked too many times, she would probably think that we were ridiculous. But the frequency, to start with, was already ridiculous to us. The thing about this is that, by not telling and expecting us to ask, is just SHIT. AND you should not ask another question to answer my question. THIS is NOT RIGHT. Can't you just answer? What is wrong with admitting that you are not that FANTASTIC? WE ARE HUMANS AND WE CAN MAKE MISTAKES.

I felt that I was walking on thin ice throughout the whole trip. I wanted to have fun. But having too much fun is wrong. I DO NOT DESERVE to have fun - the message she is constantly sending to me. I should not be resting too. I should be doing as much as she is because she had been through that and she WANTS me to be like her - having a sad life like her.

I am having depression. SLIGHT one though. I try to look at things on the brighter side. I guess, if not for my character, I would probably be in mental hospital. FOR, she is constantly doing a lot for a return. PLEASE DON'T BE NICE TO ME, if you are expecting returns. I am nice to you, because I want to. Not because I want you to return favours.

You have been controlling my life and I have been allowing you to control it. THIS IS MY FAULT. I should have made my stand earlier. I am taking over my life slowly. AND I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO HAVING MY OWN PLACE.

So much thoughts, yet so difficult to pen it down. OKAY, I am INFJ,  http://www.personalitypage.com/INFJ.html, so. yeah. X_x. INTROVERT.